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CLINTONS' IDENTITIES CHANGE
CLINTONS' IDENTITIES CHANGE By: G. Marnier - SatireNewsService After lengthy and multiple discussions relative to the Senate race of Hillary Clinton this year and her very evident, albeit modestly denied run for the White House in '08, the liberal media - including NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, The New York Times, Washington ComPost, LA Times, et al - are increasingly concerned not only about their financial problems and viewer decline, but the possibility that conservative newspersons will take control of the media market. Although denied, their bias is clearly evidenced in their refusal to report on the growing antagonism between the Clintons, a situation that has been observed by countless others who have watched the pair in both private and public gatherings. An unnamed Secret Service agent assigned to the Clinton home in Chappaqua, New York told SNS that heated arguments between the Clintons are increasing and becoming loud enough for the assigned agents and household staff to hear every word. "My assessments of the fights are based on her trying to distance herself from his record and the fact that she's had so many botox injections in her face, hair implants and her legs surgically reduced that not only did she wind up looking more like him now, she's in a panic that the voters won't be able to separate them and she doesn't want to be associated with his record." That record includes his impeachment, Whitewater, Rose Law Firm, Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Juanita Broaddrick, MemoGate, TravelGate, WhiteWater Gate, FileGate, Madison Savings and Loan Gate, CisnerosGate, JaneDoe#5Gate, ChinaGate, MenaAirstripGate, Vince Foster, Jim McDougal and the 48 who knew Clinton and died under suspicious circumstances during his eight years in office, the 35 felons he pardoned as he was walking out of the White House for the last time, the World Trade Center, Khobar Towers, US Cole and US Embassies in Africa bombings while he was in office, draft dodging and other comments on his public identity. The Agent then told SNS: "Last night, Hillary yelled: 'You bloody narcissist. You make me sick. Everybody knows what you look like, so why don't you change your appearance and go hide in some motel until this election is over,' at which point their dog walked over to a magazine on the floor, I took a quick pic and the rest is history." 
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