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MICHAEL JACKSON FINISHES METAMORPHOSIS
MICHAEL JACKSON FINISHES METAMORPHOSIS By: G.Marnier - SatireNewsService After years of intensive plastic surgery, skin bleaching and hair implantation, Michael Jackson appeared at a press conference to announce he had finally achieved his goal. "I stand before you today as one I have aspired to be since the days of my youth: I am now a white woman," he breathlessly told the assembled. The reporters who had expected they'd been summoned so Jackson could quash the rumors that he took his nose off every night before going to bed, sat in stunned silence. SNS, however, rose to the occasion and asked Jackson how much money he had spent in this lifelong endeavor? "Why should I tell you that," Jackson panted. "It's my money and I'll spend it any way I want for anything I want, so there! Besides, I have hospitalization insurance," at which point he grabbed his purse, stamped his foot, broke the 4 inch spiked high heel of his left shoe, caught his balance and hobbled hurriedly out of the room. Off the record, an aide told SNS that Jackson's hospitalization policy was with "Bodyworks4U," a new health care organization dedicated to changing the face of Hollywood forever. 
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