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ARNOLD 'SMOKED OUT'
ARNOLD 'SMOKED OUT' by: G.Marnier, SatireNewsService With the surfacing of articles, nude photos and interviews relating to Arnold Schwarzenegger's past, liberals in California and in the media have been torn between a man who, on one side, has shown his approval of orgies, drugs, homosexuality and abortion and on the other side, his being a Republican. Stars who fall into the category of "Weasels" because they oppose the war in Iraq, are particularly caught in the bind. "I think I can speak for the whole movie industry when I say that we were willing to overlook voting for anyone who belongs to the same party as George W. Bush?" Marie Tard, a prominent Los Angeles movie agent told SNS during a brief interview in front of "Brillo's," a popular restaurant in Hollywood. When reminded that Arnold had not voted in 5 of the past 11 elections and did not vote for George Bush or Bob Dole, Tard said that was even more proof why Hollywood was willing to overlook his party affiliation and accept him for who he really is. "Everybody really loved that interview he had with OUI magazine back in 1977 when he revealed so much about himself and with such honesty. About how he couldn't sleep before a competition unless he had sex with somebody, anybody, he didn't care who, as long as he could get relief so he could go out the next day feeling like King Kong." A question about how the feminist movement felt about that, was ignored. Tard went on to assure SNS that movie stars who by their nature, always try to see the best in themselves, added: "He even admitted he used grass and hash but because he was an athlete, none of the hard stuff. Most admirably, he said he didn't see anything wrong with other people doing them, however." Also ignored was a question from SNS about drug use being a felony. "Something else we really admired in him is what he said about homosexuals in gyms, and I quote: 'Men shouldn't feel like fags just because they want to have nice looking bodies. I have absolutely no hang-up about the fag business'. "Fags?" from SNS. "That's what he said," from Tard, adding "Another example was his compassionate attitude about men who couldn't have sexual relations in front of others. He told of incidents where he and several body builders would have parties with only one woman and those who felt they weren't 'competitively endowed' were still made to feel welcome." In reply to SNS's question about why the hesitation now to support Arnold, Tard said that a new photograph of Arnold had been made public and it showed him smoking. "Smoking pollutes the air we will not tolerate such behavior." When reminded that California is a state where its citizens are in imminent danger of dying at any moment from an earthquake, Tard told SNS to stop threatening her, flipped a bird and because of how that gesture is often interpreted in Hollywood, a cab stopped for her and she departed. 
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