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CHINESE REVEAL SADDAM'S HIDEOUT
CHINESE REVEAL SADDAM'S HIDEOUT by: G.Marnier - SatireNewsService Messages collected by the infrared camera mounted on a satellite aboard China's first manned spacecraft - the Shenzhous 5 - have been decoded by U.S. Military Intelligence. The spacecraft is considered a precursor to China's launching of additional intelligence gathering satellites for military purposes, particularly against Taiwan. Of strategic interest to coalition forces in Iraq is the detailed map of the Middle East which was transmitted to Beijing by the satellite, but intercepted by NASA. After assessing the data, Defense Intelligence cartographers released a statement asserting that: "Contrary to the Hollywood Weasels, Peter Arnett, Geraldo Rivera, The New York Times, The Washington Post, ABC, CBS, NBC, former Clinton Secretary of State Madelein Albright and the 04' Democratic candidates for President, Saddam Hussein is in the exact area we knew he would seek out as a familiar hiding place." DIA proctologist Dr. S. Phincter, told SNS: "Advanced technology in evacuation procedures based on feculence studies collected from stool pigeons, in night soil secured from his palaces, and an accumulation of clue droppings, confirm Saddam's route of discharge from Baghdad. Further release of impacted information will be forthcoming as troops smell out the area. Saddam's capture is expected to occur in the very near future." Construction of the booster rocket for Shenzhou 5 was significantly enhanced by illegal U.S. technology transfers during the Clinton Administration. 
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