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Why the Chicken Crossed the Road - Election 2000
Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
VICE PRESIDENT GORE- "I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them."
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH- "I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road."
SENATOR LIEBERMAN- "I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way."
SECRETARY CHANEY- "Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in
crossing the road myself."
RALPH NADER- "Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads. Up with the chickens."
PAT BUCHANAN- "To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American."
JERRY FALWELL- "Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side.' That's what 'they' call it - the 'other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that."
LOUIS FARRAKHAN- "The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the 'black man' in order to trample him and keep him down."
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