Al Baby at the Vote
(Parody of Casey at the Bat)
By Steven C. Staats
The outlook wasn't rosy for Democrats that day
The count stood under a thousand, and George Bush lead all the way
And when the Democrats fanned the faithful into indignant flame,
A sickly silence fell upon the whole electoral game.
A straggling few got up to go, in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope which "springs eternal in the human breast,"
They thought, If only Al Baby could but get a chunk of votes
They'd put up more soft money now, and get a chance to gloat.
When Jesse went to Florida, to the wonderment of all
He tried to sway the votes so Al Baby would win this fall
So, upon the Demos, cries of despair came deep from within their throats
For there seemed so little chance of Al Baby grabbing up some votes.
But Jesse let fly some statements that surprised them one and all
He said those Florida voters were not even on the ball,
He urged and cajoled them to jump into the Democratic boat
He tried to say the election wasn't fair, they were too dumb to properly vote.
Then from Democratic lawyers there rose a lusty yell
It rumbled through the courthouse, and shook the gates of hell
"We'll keep on counting, counting, counting, 'til we raise the vote bit by bit
For Al Baby, Mighty Al Baby, ain't never gonna quit!
There was ease in Al Baby's manner as he walked about the place
There was confidence in his bearing and smirk upon his face
And when responding to the media, they really had to note
No stranger in the crowd would doubt, Al Baby was working on the vote.
Millions of eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with glee
Thousand of tongues were wagging as he appeared on their TV's
Then while the media waited for crumbs of news to slip
Defiance gleamed in Al Baby's eyes, a sneer curled up his lip.
And now as ballot counting deadlines quickly did appear
Al Baby stood a-watching in haughty grandeur there
Recount after recount began to change the counts
"I'm the one the people really want!" He proudly began to shout.
From all the Democratic hearts, there went up a muffled cheer
Like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Revote, Revote!" Democrats shouted from the stands
And it's likely they would have done it, except for the law of the land
With a smile of political cunning Al Baby's visage shone
He stilled the rising tumult and said, "Let the recounts keep going on!"
He signaled Florida officials, and once more the ballots flew
One dug at a smudge on a ballot, "I've got one vote here, no wait, make that two!"
"Fraud," cried the maddened judges, and the people answered "Fraud"
But one look from angry Al Baby, and the multitude was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold; they saw his political muscle strain
And they knew that Al Baby wouldn't let the vote go George's way again
The sneer is gone from Al Baby's lip, his teeth are clenched in hate
Constitution thrown aside, Al Baby just won't wait
And now the registrar holds the count, and now she lets it go
And now the Democrats are shattered by the totals of the vote
Oh! Somewhere in this land of freedom, the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere, to the Republican's delight.
And somewhere men are laughing at the ridiculous count, after count, after count
But there is no joy at Al's house -- Al Baby has been voted out!
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