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Redneck Definitions
" DEFINITIONS "
Vaseline; meat tenderizer.
Hair lip: someone who doesn't wipe his mouth after eating pussy.
Hiccups: a country girl's brassiere.
Incest: rolling your own
Humiliation: coming home to find your wife screwing your best friend, and then being forced to sleep on the wet spot.
Masturbation: being handmade.
Hogwash: Miss Piggy's douche.
Gobbledygook: turkey cum.
Pimp: America's most successful meat salesman.
Orgasm: something a woman should have three minutes after a man has stopped fucking.
Gentleman: a man who can count a woman's pussy hairs with his teeth and not get a hard-on.
Ram Rod: a goat with a hard-on.
NASA: Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Relative Humidity: the sweat on your balls when you're fucking your sister.
LXIX: sixty-nine the hard way.
Toilet Paper: film for your brownie.
Old Age: when you've been in bed all night with women and dawn comes, but you don't.
Loser: Someone a hooker tells," Not now-I have a headache.
Gay Masochist: a sucker for punishment.
Cold Cream: a vaginal lubricant for necrophiles.
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