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JESSE JACKSON - PRICELESS
Jesse's explanation to members of his church concerning his recent highly publicized departing from the " Devine Way." My dearest congregation: During an NAACP celebration for a victory over discrimination - where I felt righteous indignation - for my brothers in this troubled nation. in the heat of my elation (after several strong libations) due to my intoxication I started to feel a sensation with my unit in full salutation and in need of some fraternization so I partook in some fornication which resulted in the impregnation of a member of my delegation (shoulda used spermicidal lubrication or indulged in self-masturbation) I didn't consider the ramification and accidentally added to the population Adding to the speculation that I should tender my resignation (not to mention my wife's infuriation and subsequent threat of castration.) When suddenly I had a revelation as her pregnancy reached maturation that with the NAACP's coordination and some financial compensation I could keep this situation deeply secreted in isolation and avoid a legal investigation. There you have my explanation of this unfortunate situation. 
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